Ever since I was informed this past Monday that there have been a few vehicles and garages broken into in our neighborhood, I have not been able to sleep well. You would think that having and setting the house alarm each night, would bring some comfort (which it totally does), but you still have those feelings of would the sound of a screeching alarm really deter a burglar away? So anyway, I haven't slept well for a week...then I come home from a wonderful dinner with friends Saturday night only to walk into a house that absolutely stunk. I flipped on the laundry room light (where Wrigley's crate is) only to see that he had had diarrhea and tried to cover it up with the towels he sleeps on. I don't need to gross you out with all of the nasty details, but it was all over. There I was, tired, pregnant and completely full from a huge meal (and dessert, of course) and I had to somehow crawl inside the crate to get all the way to the back to wipe it all out. I couldn't even stand to wash the towels, so I threw them out. Why is it that anytime Wrigley has thrown up on something, did his business in the house or torn something up, Shawn is never there to experience it??!! Ahh, soon enough though, he'll get the pleasure of changing diapers! Until that day, I guess it'll be on me! Back to my story.....Now, I'm tired, full, pregnant, worried that Wrigley's actual sick, and about to gag from the diarrhea smell that I've tried to mask with a ton of Febreeze. I have no idea why Wrigley did that, but he must have really been sick, because he got up three more times in the middle of the night to go outside. Come Sunday morning, I could barely drag myslef out of bed. All I wanted to do was to lay there all day in my pajamas and then maybe move to the couch as the day progressed. So, I decided to sleep through Sunday School and just go to the regular service at 10:30. You know when you go to church when you feel like that and you leave there asking yourself if you remember anything the pastor taught that day? You were just so tired, you couldn't even focus and you tell yourself you should have just stayed in bed and got the rest you needed? Well, I've done that on many occasions, but yesterday was not one of them. I'll try to recap what the message was about, without dragging on......
Demonic Deliverance. James 4:7
As I read those words on the bulletin, I started to think I should have just stayed in bed. I immediately thought, I'm pretty sure I don't have any demons....I am not possessed. I soon found out what little I know. I am not ignorant, I know Satan can attack you in ways that will not make you possessed, but I was tired and not thinking straight.
Satan takes on may forms and attacks each person in different ways. For some, it's physical illness. For some, it's mental illness. For some, it's insecurities, lust, inferiorities, anger...etc. You get the picture. I won't go into the whole message, but I would suggest that if you have time, go to http://www.templebaptistnewbern.net/ , click on Listen Online and listen to the whole message. Immediately things start coming to mind of how Satan attacks me on a daily basis. I think first and foremost, which most of you know, would be when he puts that little thought into my head that I haven't felt the baby move in a while. Some days it spirals out of control and I start thinking, when was the last time he moved? How many weeks am I...if something is wrong, will he live if he's born today? How will I react if we have to plan another funeral? How will Shawn deal with it if he's in Iraq? And the thoughts just go on and on and on. I have learned that this will completely consume me and I have to immediately give it to God again. The peace isn't always instant, but He does give it.
The next way Satan attacks is by bringing up all the thoughts of Shawn leaving for Iraq again. One was this past week, when I had to lay in my bed alone with wonders of someone breaking into the house. Then, dealing with the dog and the house and work........THEN dealing with a newborn baby. Then, how will we be able to communicate well if the webcams don't work well (like I'm being informed of)? I know how long 6 months is this time.....again....on and on and on. Not to mention Shawn's safety while he's traveling, while he's there, while he's flying his missions and not getting upset when our communication isn't where we'd like it to be, but thousands of miles just doesn't allow for anything better. Is he being a good (Christian) example with his peers? Should I bring up whether or not, this or that, needs to be done here on the homefront while he's dealing with other "more important" issues during this war?
You see where I'm going with this?! In my case, I can worry myself to death without anyone elses help. But Satan knows what will eat at me and he uses that with all of his might. The key factor is FAITH. I think it has to be. If I don't believe and have faith that God can change my thoughts or circumstance in a certain instance, then it won't happen and these thoughts will never leave me. One key point that the pastor made was that the devil will only throw these things at you if you consent to it. Most people would say that they would never consent to having someone harp on you about something that ails you, but it's true. If you leave that door slightly cracked, he will find his way in. Or for all of you military wives...this will hit home....when you haven't heard from you husband for a few days and then when he does call he just sits there with nothing to say and gets mad when you're mad, because the only thing you've been looking forward to for the past few days is to hear his voice. That will eat at you (or at least it does me) for days........that's Satan using that small little 10 minutes of conversation (or just listening to each other breath - whatever your's is) to eat away at you.
James 4:7 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you".
I didn't mean to sound preachy this morning, but I just thought it was such a great message yesterday, I wanted to share. Think about the little things that irk you (is that how you spell that?:o) ) and see how easy it is to stay focused on that one thing all day or week. That's him. Allow God to help you with all of the "crap" Satan throws at you on a daily basis. (Literally, "crap" in my case on Saturday night :o)
I realize I don't say enough wonderful things about my husband. I am often reminded of this when I read my friend Beth's blog, in which she always tells how much she misses her husband, how he has blessed her life these last six years and how she can't stand to be without him when he's deployed. I begin to think, why don't I tell everyone how much he means to me and how much I love him? He truly is my best friend, my rock in hard times, my joy when I'm down, my very own comedian, my warmth when I wake in the mornings and lay down to sleep at night and so much more. I am so blessed to have him as my husband and I can't imagine life without him. 
